Hey everybody. I DON'T wanna talk about me.

Welcome to 2007 everyone. Let's jump right in.

My last few posts have been somewhat introspective, so I thought this time I'd take a look at some things (music, movies, popular trends, etc.) that are in the news and comment on them. Then you can wear my opinions like a favorite hat. You can walk around displaying these opinions, and passersby will whisper to each other, "That's a Weishampel, how eloquent!"

THE INTERNET 2.0 / USER-PRODUCED CONTENT / TIME'S "PERSON OF THE YEAR" AWARD

First, I'd like to note the irony of the fact that I am using a blog to expound the opinions I am about to expound. Yes, yes, without user-produced content I couldn't write this, just as without money and private publishing houses I couldn't buy books on socialism (Chomsky 4 LIFE!). So I am, at this point, caught up in the web of user-produced content.

I know some of you are turned off by the website www.somethingawful.com, but if you go to their front page article for Thursday, January 11, you will find a rather forceful and well-written article critiquing Time for conferring their "Person of the Year" award on "you", the internet user. I agree with the major thrust of the article: it is illusory to content that websites such as MySpace, Facebook, and YouTube are really democratizing the internet. MySpace, Facebook, and YouTube actually have very little intrinsic value, except for hosting purposes. They don't produce content and they don't really stimulate users in any way. I think a valuable metaphor for these websites would be as follows:

Imagine yourself walking down a broad street. I'm thinking maybe Broad Boulevard in beautiful Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio. But now imagine there are no cars. Also, people are lined up along both sides of the street and along either side of the center median, about one person every fifteen feet. These people are talking - not to anyone, just talking. They are saying: "I enjoy the following movies: Boondock Saints, Scarface, Gigli, etc." They are not talking to one another, just kind of rambling. And you? You are walking down the street, just looking at everyone rambling about who they are and what they like. You can skip to faces you know, sure. But the problem is, if you already know the person in question, you are unlikely to discover anything new; if you do not know the person in question this information is of little significance.

Also, every hundred feet or so there is a booth with a flashing sign instructing you to "SWAT THE MOSQITO AND WIN A LAPTOP!!" or asking you "IS GEORGE W. BUSH DOING A GOOD JOB?" or tempting you to "MEET SEXY SINGLES IN YOUR AREA" such as "GORGOUS GINA 23/F". For this Broad Boulevard has attained a value of $1.5 billion.

Don't get me wrong; I don't think these forums are evil or anything like that. They're just a lot more inane than we realize. If you know someone, and you want to find out some of their favorite movies, ask. Or tell leading questions / stories.

Also, the actual users of these sites can be simpletons, racists, cocky fifteen-year-olds, or what have you. So just keep your browser on addictinggames.com.

BUSH'S PLAN IN IRAQ

Just stop, asshole. You're not going to win. You can't crush this insurgency without a permanent occupation that would require a draft and that would breed unfathomable resentment in the Middle East and beyond. We've gotten to the point where a majority of Americans who self-identify as conservative do not want a troop escalation - and yet the president still asks for it. This is because he knows he can come off as "strong and decisive" and then blame the people on the ground when things don't go right.

This man's hubris knows no bounds.

Also, he used a signing statement to contradict directly a law he signed. Late last year, congress passed some bill or other that included a provision that the president or members of the executive branch could not open mail without such and such legal provisions. I'm too lazy right now to look it up. Anyway, in his signing statement - an interpretation of certain provisions of a law made by the executive when he / she signs a law - Bush said he could open people's mail if he - or a person or agency under his thumb - deemed it important to national security. To review:

BILL / LAW: Bush cannot open mail.
BUSH: Bush can open mail.

Ugh.

FINALLY, SOME MUSIC

This is where I pick three albums and review them in a few words. Then you go to www.napster.com, register a FREE account, and listen to the album. If you wish. No, no. I won't be long-winded like http://bassdrumsguitar.blogspot.com and give you a "full review" with "thoughtful comments", but maybe I'll turn you on to something new.

1. Minus the Bear - "Highly Refined Pirates"

Minus the Bear may be the musical incarnation of "quirky". Fortunately, they are also one incarnation of "rhythmic," "melodic," and just plain "talented". Chirpy, atmospheric guitar sounds meet nagging ennui in this highly recommended record.

Pros: skilled instrumentalists, a unique sound, both gentle and intense, creative lyrics.
Cons: over the course of an album, the guitar tone might put the listener to sleep; lyrics get difficult to relate to.

Madden rating: 89.

2. The Cure - "Disintegration"

One of the best popular songwriters of all time is in top form for his band's opus. "Disintegration" is widely regarded as The Cure's masterpiece, and rightly so. Though the album has an emotional range that runs from apathy to depression to sad reminisence, it's hard to imagine writing a better album that more perfectly encapsulates those emotions. "Disintegration" really makes you feel good about being bad.

Musically, it can wear on one's ears, and the song lengths are an accurate representation of how long the songs feel. But you,...you just have to hear it.

Pros: Near perfect song-construction, many instruments share the same space very well, the mood of the album and of each song is musically represented with less cliche than one might expect (no song hammers home its point with too strong a hammer).
Cons: Very difficult to get through all at once. Inclines one to being alone for the rest of the night. Does not go over well at parties. (Well, I've never actually tried.)

Madden rating: 98.

3. The Meat Puppets - "No Joke"

Hopes were high for the Meat Puppets in 1995. After 15 years together, the band had broken big in 1994 with an appearance on Nirvana's "Unplugged" album and a hit single in "Backwater". But with "No Joke," aka "Bad Joke," they dropped the ball with stunning aplomb.

Do not listen to this album. Buy pretty much any Meat Puppets album but this.

Pros: "Eyeball" is catchy. As is "Cobbler". I think.
Cons: What once was quirky and charming is now simply annoying. Meat Puppets lyrics before were no-ego explorations of the band's drug-induced world; on "No Joke" they were winking hipster invitations to critique society. And not in a good way. And the music - once whimsical and breakneck - was all sludged up.

Madden grade: 62.